How Did I Stop Caring About The Number On The Scale?

There's a big difference between intellectually understanding why the number on the scale means nothing and actually being able to remove yourself emotionally from it.

This happens often, actually.

For example a client's measurements may be down, meaning their body is actually getting smaller but the scale hasn’t moved so they get frustrated, annoyed, feel deflated and even quite down on themselves.

I'll remind them why the scale is less reliable than measurements and is a terrible judge of progress.

They'll nod at me dismissively, rolling their eyes and muttering "I know, I know, I know."

And I can tell my words are going in one ear and out the other because they have not broken the emotional attachment to it yet.

The thing is, I know what it’s like to base your entire self worth on that silly little number on the floor.

I also know what it’s like to know why you shouldn’t care but still be unable to stop.

I spent a long time counselling clients about not caring about the scale while still living and dying by it myself because I just couldn’t seem to stop caring, no matter how much I knew intellectually.

BUT, at some point over the last few years I was FINALLY able to remove the emotion from it.

No matter what the scale says now (if I even bother to get on it, which I rarely do), I literally feel nothing. It’s sooooo incredible.

At some point recently, I started wondering when, why and how this switch finally occurred for me. I never thought about it before, it just sort of happened over time.

But when I thought about it, I realized it was this.

It was building and living in these two bodies that really did it for me. The first pic in the purple suit, I was about 105lbs, low carbing, starving, obsessing and miserable. The second pic, in the red suit, I was between 120-124lbs, eating whatever I want (lots of carbs), satisfied and waaaaay happier.

So the difference for me was not just knowing it but living it and seeing first hand that the way my body looked was a result of the choices I was making, that I had control of my choices, that my choices didn’t need to be obsessive or restrictive and make me miserable, and that smaller didn’t mean “better”.

Body composition/more muscle was the key, that required not starving and meant the number on the floor might get higher.

When you live in a body that looks and feels better at a heavier weight than a lighter weight, it becomes pretty easy to stop caring about the scale.

Until you're able to do that for yourself, hopefully the visual of mine will help you start to learn to care less about that silly little number.

**Updated to add: this was initially how I started to care less about the number on the scale and it helped a lot at the time but I've since learned that true freedom from the scale having power over me has resulted from the knowledge that my value as a human is not dependent upon what I weigh or how I look. THAT is true scale freedom.

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About The Author

Roni Davis
Cognitive Eating Founder

Writer, Producer, Host - It's All In Your Head Podcast

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Roni Davis spent over two decades struggling with weight, food (mindless, emotional and binge eating), an eating disorder, depression, panic attacks, and an anxiety disorder. She's also been a nationally qualified champion figure athlete, written for bodybuilding websites, was featured in a national fitness magazine, by and spent almost a decade helping people transform their bodies as an award-winning personal trainer and nutrition and wellness coach.


After over two decades of her own personal weight & food struggles and almost a decade in the weight loss/fitness industry, Roni left the fitness industry and bundled everything she learned from her own recovery, from her time as a trainer & nutrition & wellness coach with everything she learned in her mindfulness-based cognitive behavior coach training, to create Cognitive Eating.  This allows her to guide and support people to live healthier lives through behavior and habit modification at the brain level, where it counts and will actually stick.

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NOTE: While counselors or therapists often use CBT to deal with mental illness or a patient’s mental/emotional conditions and/or processing trauma, MBCT & cognitive eating does not. My roll as a coach, in its most simple form, is to encourage, coach and/or act as a facilitator of a client’s self-reflection, decision making, planning for the future, and creating life changes. As an MBCT & cognitive eating coach, I am obligated to refer clients in need of mental or physical health therapy to an appropriate licensed professional.  

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