We all have a story running through our heads everyday that's telling us who we are and what we're capable of.
And way too often it's not a good one.
What is yours?
Is your story telling you wonderful things that motivate and inspire you to shine or is your inner critic writing the script and making you live a life of doubt, shame, guilt and fear?
This is what makes or breaks you (if you let it).
When we have an inner dialogue telling us the story that this is just who we are...
"I'm too old to change. I don't care. I'm so lazy. I'm too busy. I can't control my portions. I can't focus on that right now. I don't have time for me. My body is ruined by childbirth/being so fat for so long. I'm worthless. I'm a failure. I always screw up. I can't lose weight. I'm just naturally 'big boned' I'm destined to be fat forever. I'm a quitter"
We believe it!
We hear everything we tell ourselves about who we think we are... and we believe it all.
In so believing those things, we automatically reinforce them through inaction (and/or self-sabotage, etc).
That is, if we tell ourselves those things, we believe them to be true of ourselves and we actually create that reality.
So, how to change it? A couple things can help.
First notice those thoughts and literally start changing them. When you hear yourself saying "I'm so lazy" or "I'm a pig who can't control myself around food", or whatever, stop and change them to something more positive. I don't care if you don't believe the new thoughts yet, just repeat them. Over and over and over and over again. The other thing that can help a lot is to get curious. If you're telling yourself you're too lazy to exercise quiet your mind and start asking yourself why you don't want to. Is because it's hard and you don't want to sweat? Is it because you don't feel like you deserve to feel good? Is it because the only reason you think you should be is to get skinny and you keep telling yourself you can't control yourself with food or you "keep screwing that up" anyway so why bother? Figure out WHY you don't want to -- because there is a reason beyond the "lazy" excuse, I guarantee it.
Second... you change it with action. You need to start seeing yourself doing things that contradict that story. This is why I always say baby steps and pick one thing that you can easily commit to doing every day to move you towards your end goal. It needs to be easy so you start to see yourself DOING IT consistently. By seeing yourself succeeding at that ONE thing you will slowly begin to change your story. It will force you out of the old story that you always fail and it will rewrite a new one. Action creates a new story. A new story allows you to begin to rewrite a new one and gives you the control to create whatever story you want.